Chris Moles, a pastor and biblical counselor who helps churches and families confront the evil of domestic violence defines domestic abuse as:
“a pattern of abusive (oppressive) behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.”
Many of these tactics fall under the category of coercive control, which can can be comparable to those used with prisoners of war, intended to produce profound changes in attitude, beliefs, and emotions.
DESCRIBING ABUSE THEOLOGICALLY
Abuse takes place when one person uses their God-given capacity to diminish the God-given capacity under their influence. Control is at the root, with an underlying desire to get what they want. It distorts the image of God in the abuser and in the one being abused through the lies, manipulation, constrains, and diminishment that abuse has.
Domestic abuse, both through physical force and coercive control, are forms of oppression. We will look at God's views on oppression, in more detail, on the page: Abuse and God's Word. It goes against the gospel message of loving your neighbor as yourself and the example Jesus displayed of humility and servant leadership, which you can read more about on the page: Abuse and Submission/Headship.
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